Highway to the Dangerzone
by someoneimportant
Summary: the airstrike planes don't just go home after they bomb your target. Theres a whole war out there and you're just one tiny battle. Basically what happens when you call a precision airstrike and where they go when they leave. Reviews appreciated no flames
1. Strike package whiskey, Zulu

What really happens when you call an airstrike

Ok people, this is my first fanfic so no flaming, constructive criticism only. This is basically what happens when you call for an airstrike, and everything else they do when they leave.

Disclaimer: the day I own cod, hawx or top gun is the day I can write a check for $25000 just to get the captain of an aircraft carrier to turn right so the lighting is more dramatic. A callsign or two might be mine though.

_Random text: killstreak announcer guy_

_**Random text: flight control people over intercom**_

_Random text: Soldiers over the radio_

*A random soldier gets a headshot*

Soldier 1: sweet 6th kill, airstrike time!

_Our airstrike inbound_

Meanwhile in the middle of the atlantic ocean…

"Sir, we've got a transmission coming in from our ground forces in Rio," said one of the control tower officers. Ghost Rider walks over, "Rio eh? Let's see what those whiners on the ground want. Play it back for me." "Y-yes sir," stutters the technician, obviously intimidated by the presence of his superior.

_USS Enterprise, this is ground leader hunter 2-9 requesting immediate air support! We're taking major losses, Can anyone assist? *a loud boom is heard and then nothing.*_

Ghost Rider scowls, "dang it they knocked out long range communications, we won't hear anymore out of him until we get into the combat zone. You there, get me a status update on Rio, it sounded like they were getting their butts handed to them," said Ghost Rider forcefully to the operator nearest him. Stinger looks up, "yes sir right away, here's the most current intel we've got at this time," he said as he handed Ghost Rider a folder. Ghost Rider reads for a few moments, " Alright people we're rolling out the big guns, get those planes on the flight deck and prep the catapult for launch. We're pressed for time so brief everybody on the way."

*take off*

_**Attention all aircraft, we have 3 active conflicts, roll out strike package whiskey, Zulu.**_

_**Boots on the ground requesting danger close strike mission target confirmed**_

The first of three f-14's is moved into position at the rear of the ships' catapult. The flight deck crew attaches the **towbar** on the plane's nose gear (front wheels) to a slot in the shuttle. The crew positions another bar, the **holdback**, between the back of the wheel and the shuttle. The flight crew raises the **jet blast deflector** (JBD) behind the plane. When all final checks have been made, The catapult officer readies the catapult by opening valves to fill the catapult cylinders with high-pressure steam from the ship's reactors. Steam rises from the catapult as it is being charged. This steam provides the necessary force to propel the pistons at high speed, slinging the plane forward to generate the necessary lift for takeoff.(the steam rises up so if you need a visual if you've ever seen back to the future think the flame from the delorean but in steam) When the cylinders are charged to the appropriate pressure level, the pilot blasts the plane's engines. The holdback keeps the plane on the shuttle while the engines generate considerable thrust. The catapult officer releases the pistons, the force causes the holdbacks to release, and the steam pressure slams the shuttle and plane forward. (**if you've ever seen back to the future, think the flame trail from the delorian, but in steam**) The 42,000 pound plane is rocketed from 0-165 mph in two seconds and At the end of the catapult, the tow bar pops out of the shuttle, releasing the plane. The flight crew lines up the next one, and soon all three jets are en route to Rio.

(a/n second hardest thing to do in a plane and only the navy get to do it, so respect to the navy)

Halobsessed: sheesh what's taking those planes so dang long?

Tomcat14: Eh, I blame lag, I mean look at me, see that semtex over there? I threw that 2 mins ago and it still hasn't gone off yet! Speaking of which I've been running for half the game and I'm still not any closer than when I started.

Halobsessed: CUUUURSE YOU INFINITY WARDDDDDDDD!

(A/N nothing against infinity ward but the server times out way too much)

*back inside the planes*

_**Attention all personnel, this is a stage 1 alert Repeat, this is a stage 1 alert, enemy units are moving in on the Favela from multiple directions.**_

_**Reaper flight this is sentry, you have an inbound air raid at zero nine zero, clear to intercept I Repeat, you are clear to intercept. You only have one objective reaper flight, engage and destroy all, repeat all enemy forces in the combat zone. You are weapons free.**_

Talon:You call this an air raid? It's just one measly ac-130. Pretty sad if you ask me.

Torch: Wait a minute, where'd the favela gang even GET an ac-130 in the first place?

Talon: Who knows, maybe they stole it from the Russians or something.

*flashback*

Alejandro Rojas: Alright guys today we con the Russians out of their ac-130.

Militia1:But what if they figure us out?

Alejandro Rojas: don't worry, they won't. Don't you know that in the cold war the Americans built the Blackbird aka the fastest and highest flying stealth and recon plane out there on Russias dime?

Militia2: No Way!

Alejandro Rojas: Way my friends, they needed titanium to build it and they convinced the Russians that they were "totally not going to build the worlds best stealth vehicle with it."

Militia1: This should be easy then, alright lets gooooooo! *runs out onto the airstrip and the Russians gun him down*

Alejandro Rojas: That idiot! He should have known that running onto a military base would get him shot, and what's worse is that now they're coming to get us!

Militia2: Don't worry I got this, I speak fluent Russian.

Spetznaz1: (in Russian) You're trespassing on private military property. Give us one good reason not to shoot you and then feed you to the bears!

Militia2: Our apologies for trespassing on your land, but we couldn't help but admire that rather impressive plane you have there. We would like to make you an offer for it.

Spetznaz1:How could you possibly pay for it? We know how poor you guys are.

Militia2: Oh, we're not buying it; we're how you say taking it on loan. You will let us have it won't you? We're going to go fight the Americans with it…

Spetznaz1: The Americans you say? Hmm As much as we fight with America, we don't really hate them that much right now. Sure they think they're better than us all the time but that's no reason to give you our plane.

Militia2: By the way, you know all that titanium the Americans bought in the cold war?

Spetsnaz1: Yeah, what about it? I hear they used it to build car parts or something.

Militia2: They made a stealth fighter with it. Apparently it's the best in the world.

Spetsnaz1: WHAAAAAAAAT! OH THAT'S IT THEY"RE GOING DOWNNN.

Militia2: Great so you'll give us the plane?

Spetsnaz1:NO. We're going to get them ourselves. We've got the TF-141 cornered in salvage so after we're done with you, we're going to go shoot them.

Militia2: 'this isn't working, on to plan b' HEY LOOK! IT'S A COCKY AMERICAN TELLING A SOVIET RUSSIA JOKE!

Entire Base: *turns around* WHERE? We'll kill him.

Militia2 and Rojas: *on loudspeaker* Nevermind, it was just our imagination. Thanks for the plane by the way. : p

Spetsnaz: Hey, come back with that! We will get youuuuuu! Curse you brazil and your Militia!

Spetsnaz1: hey, wasn't that the ac-130 we were storing our nuke on?

Spetsnaz2: Yeah, soooo we're all probably going to die soon right? Oh look they're giving it back, they're so generous!

Spetsnaz1: No you idiot they're dropping it on us.

Entire base: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEE IDON'TWANNADIEIDON'TWANNADIE

*BOOOOOOM*

*one day later in a Russian press conference*

And so our comrades died valiantly against impossible odds each gunning down 25 men before they were shot. We shall avenge their deaths by waging all out war on those responsible. We will not rest until we have the heads of every single militiaman in Brazil.

…_And in a shocking move, Russia has declared all out war with Brazil. How will this affect the world at large? We'll keep you updated as we learn more. Now for the weather, over to you bob…_

_*flash forward*_

Cobra: Eh, who cares where they got it from, lets just kill it already.

Talon: roger that, its got a ton of flares so let's get in gun range and blow it out of the sky!

Torch: I'm with you on that one man, lets go!

_Cliffhanger! XD_

_This is it so far, so what do you guys think? _


	2. Operation: Checkmate

_Chapter 2_

_a/n: _Last time on dragonball z…. *cough cough* I mean my fanfic, drat now I have to disclaim dbz toooooo.

Picolo: you better do it or else….. SPECIAL BEAM CANN..

Someonemportant: OK Ok, just don't shoot. I don't own dbz or COD or top gun. You happy now?

Picolo: You're missing one

Someoneimportant: Darn, I thought I could get away with that one. I don't own any plane related video games either. Good grief you people are so crabby about your copyrights. Now that you no longer have any power to blast me since those copyrights are out of the way, Here's my revenge.

Vegeta: O Snap. Not. Again. Another super powered guy other than goku.

Nappa: what is it Vegeta, what does the scouter say about the authors power level?

Vegeta: its over 99 thousanddddddd!

Nappa: What? 99,000, he'll kill us all.

Someone important: Now, my ultimate technique!

**Your tactical nuke is ready for launch**

*****presses button*

**Tactical nuke! It's all over!**

***siren blares in background***

**KA-Blam**

Review responses

_Master of wishes: _Don't take everything so seriously; this is mostly humor so some parts are going to look like that_. _That first chapter was a prologue so to speak, just me warming up to the real thing. Sorry if it seemed like a script, but considering I was trying to be descriptive and funny, it just kinda came out that way. I'm used to writing essays, not works of fiction. I'll improve as this goes on. Pieces of it might remain script-like because well, I posted this as half humor so yeah, the humorous bits go there. I'm just warming up! (other than that, any comments relevant to the actual content and not just my writing style?)

_Nooneimportant: _already done and thanks for the review man, as the first review I ever got, it's special to me.

Jane Kid McAnders: Oh, yeah, that part. I didn't even notice that this was similar to that until you pointed it out. I might even use a little bit of transformers later, it depends.

Mp 45: 1: the blackbirds were made of 85%titanium, at least the frame is. The outer plates are made of different stuff to allow for re-entry materials. The blackbird set most of the speed records of its time as well as highest altitude. We only just recently broke said records.

2: technically, this is written in COD time, and in multiplayer they have ac-130's. Don't ask me to explain it but they do. If you want me to change it the Russian equivalent would be the Antonov An-12.

3:I know they use the f/a 18 super hornets in the navy, that was just my little tribute to the cats. The only F-14's left are in service with the Islamic Republic of Iran Air Force, having been exported to Iran in 1976. Just assume they borrowed a few for one mission. I'm going to be using different planes from here.

Ps. Technically tomcats are two seaters, so on future missions do you guys want the main pilots to have wingmen or what?

They shoot down the ac-130 no problem, but at the same time they receive a message from an unfamiliar source

*U hack3ers you can't shoot down an ac-130 with an airstrike. *

The pilots sigh and talon radios the other aces, "I was hoping it wouldn't have to come to this. Torch, drop the package." "Roger that, package away," replies torch. His bomb bay doors open and a small care package falls out and slowly parachutes to the ground. The players pry it open and read, 'To Whom It May Concern, SHUT UP! We're not even from this game so we can do whatever we feel like! After we're done bombing the heck out of your sorry behinds, we're going back to base to relax and have a few drinks. Thank you and have a nice day.

Ps. This package also has a little something extra from us, to you. Want to know what it is? This package is lined with C-4 and instead of packing peanuts, we used Napalm. The timers should be going off right about… NOW!'

***Multi-kill*** **for blowing those sad excuses for soldiers to kingdom come.**

Meanwhile up in the not so friendly skies, the pilots are laughing their heads off, but not literally for that would just make a mess. In between fits of laughter talon manages to choke out, "ah man, that was cruel yet soooo satisfying." "If only all our enemies were that stupid," says torch. Cobra suddenly chimes in, "as hilarious as that was, we probably should move on to the next target." "You make a good point lieutenant, all right guys we're moving out," Talon says. "Sure thing boss, we're right behind you," reply the other two. Suddenly, Talon and Cobra begin to hear static from Torches channel.

"Hey torch, you alright? We're getting a lot of static from your comm.," says Cobra

"No, I'm not alright, I think I'm being hacked by the enemy. When I figure out who, they're dead," yells torch.

militia1:yes, we finally hacked the code for the Americans transmissions.

Militia 2: all right! lets see what they're saying! (listens closely) ! *dies from shock*

militia 1 what? could it have been that bad? *listens in and starts sweating*  
militia 3: what is it?

militia2: oh nothing, the Americans just sent 3 f-14's and an a-10 to blow us all down.

Militia 3:oh is that all, relax, we're in invasion there are lots of ragedy buildings to defend us. Its not like they sent a b-2 stealth bomber or something. Hey look there they are now!

militia 2: *screams, grips his heart and accidentally spills boiling hot coffee on his lap*

Militia 3:(laughs hysterically relax dude i was just messing with ya, man you should have seen your fac...*earth shattering explosion*

Torch: booom, roasted.

talon:good kill, but did you really have to use the 2000 lb bomb? That was the biggest one we had.

torch: they hacked my radio and their yelling was getting on my nerves. I took out my aggresion on them nuff said.

talon: Since I am flight lead I should be saying things like "don't waste ordinance soldier" or something along those lines, but those militia guys have caused us so much trouble in the past that I don't really care. Maybe that'll teach them to try and hack our com link. The network would have had a pred missile launched, but we just saved them a whole lot paperwork. Of course, they stil have to re-code the channels, but hey, not our fault they couldn't make a better code to begin with.

Cobra: well watch it, you only have two more of those and we're saving those for the big targets.

somewhere else...

militia 4: too bad about those other guys, but at least we're in a building, they'll never get us here!  
*stream of code which spells out* oh yeah?  
militia 5: (in shaky voice) wh-who is that? i'm a gangster with a gun, a big one.  
*i'm the author sucka, and you think you're invincible eh? well eat this!*  
militia 5: nothing happened.  
*oh didn't it? i just changed the physics so buildings actually fall down when bombed. mwaaaaahahahahahahaha!*

militia 6: well, this isn't good, we just called in a stealth bomber a few minutes ago. It should be here any minute.

Militia5: well, since we're all gonna die soon, any requests for last meals? I've got a stack of frozen dinners and a microwave.

Militia 6: how about ham for me. I always did love me some good ham!

Militia5: too bad, we don't have ham so here, have some deer.

Militia 6: But, venison makes me sad…

Militia 5: That's interesting. Well you know what I think is sad? YOU! MAYBE WE SHOULD CHUG ON OVER TO MAMBY-PAMBY LAND WHERE MAYBE WE CAN FIND SOME FLEXIBILITY FOR YOU YA JACK WAGON! Tissue?

*militia 6 nodds his head and militia 5 throws the tissue box at his head

Militia 5:crybaby. Next! How about you?

Militia7: You don't happen to have a full turkey dinner in there do you?

Militia5: Actually yes we do, but you can't have any. Its mine. So… *rummages around in the back of the freezer* here you go.

Militia7: *after microwaving* ahhh, just like mom used to make.

Militia5: but this is prepackaged, frozen, generic army brand food. How can it taste like your moms home cooking?

Militia7: She never cooked. This stuff was the equivalent of an expensive night out.

Militia5: … Ok, no comment. You in the corner, any requests?

Militia?: Vodka!

Militia5: hey wait a minute, he's Russian! How is he part of our militia?

Well, since we're all about to die soon anyway, I might as well grace you with the truth. I'm really a part of a spetsnaz black ops team sent to infiltrate the militia and take you all down. I was sent here, and the rest of us have probably taken over key positions of power within your organization by now. We were ordered to lay low until you guys were weakest, and then cause you to self destruct from within. Listen, we're going to die any minute now so where's that vodka?

Militia 5: Fine, fine, here… *hands him a bottle of their finest vodka.*

Everyone else: Hey! How come he gets treated better than the rest of us? This is messed up! He gives us random crud but the spy gets exactly what he wanted? Unfair…

Spetsnaz black ops agent: I really feel bad about you guys not getting your last meals, so I'll tell you what, militia5 and I will personally drive into town and get your favorite foods for you. Sound Good?

Everyone: yeah, no complaints here.

Spetsnaz: ok then, we'll be right back…

*half an hour later*

Spetsnaz:hey guys we're bac… Oops, looks like that stealth bomber already got here…

Militia5:Alright! I lived! Thanks for helping me trick the others into letting me leave.

Spetsnaz: no problem, but I have to complete my mission. _You have witnessed too much._ * he pulls out a colt python and blasts the militiaman's head off.* Well that's done, my breaks over, back to work *walks off whistling the spetsnaz victory tune*

Meanwhile, deep in the heart of Russia, the tf-141 is locked in vicious combat with the spetznaz.

Spetsnaz announcer: *yawn* enemy airstrike inbound.

Pilots: HEY! We are the navy's top pilots and we deserve proper respect!

Spetsnaz announcer: but even so, you only bomb in straight lines. Now if you were a team of AC-130's…

"Oh here we go… Those guys hog all the glory!" shouted torch. "Oh look at me, I'm so special just because I can see the whole map and fire explosives. I'd like to see them do our job for once! We actually have do duck and dodge out of the way of sam missiles instead of using those cheap flares. You know what? I don't care that we're only supposed to be here for a bombing run, IT'S GO TIME SUCKERS!"

*torch breaks right and begins an all out assault on the spetsnaz*

Cobra: Think we ought to help?

Talon: Nah, he's got this. Whoever called us is about to get really lucky, whenever torch gets really pissed off like this, the whole place either goes down in flames.

Torches plane hovers low to the ground and mows down droves of people with the guns. Then he road kills a few more panicked soldiers when suddenly, his sensors register a missile lock. To break lock he speeds up to full thrust in order to get out of the line of sight. However, the soldier still manages to fire his stinger missile. Torch waits until the last possible moment and then cuts the engine, does a backflip and shoots the missile down with one of his own. He makes a hard right turn and locks on to the person responsible for firing that missile. He fires a sidewinder and it finds its target, leaving only a smoking crater. One spetsnaz guy has the bright idea of hiding in a building, and the rest follow. Big mistake. They hear the roar of the engines out of the window, but they are far too scared to peek out. Suddenly, torches plane rises up and hovers level with the window. "I'mmm Baaaack!" said torch as he fired a missile into the room through the window. Those who were smart enough to hide in a building without windows managed to last a little longer, but not by much. Torch, living up to his name, merely firebombed the entire map with napalm. Those not killed in the initial explosion were spawn-killed again, and again, and again by the rapidly spreading fires and the collapsing of buildings.

Sniper409:Best. Killstreak. EVER. Seventy-four kills, just like that. Way better than the nuke. Should I let it get the last kill, or go shoot a guy myself… eh, let the airstrike get it, this is way too much fun to watch.

A lone spetsnaz soldier manages to crawl out of the rubble, open his laptop, and press a few buttons before a falling brick smashed it. The last words it said before breaking were,

_Our airstrike inbound_

Dun dun DUNNNN!

Russian aces, didn't see that one coming did you?

One more thing, if it seems like I'm hating on the Russians, I couldn't write this with anyone else because honestly, the Russians are the only ones well trained enough to put up a decent dogfight. The militia and op for can barely fly an ac-130 as it is. If you listen closely, the Americans and Russians make calculations and leave before they run out of fuel. The militia just guess what buttons to press and crash because they run out of gas.


End file.
